Neverland

So  I just finished the movie Neverland starring Johnny Depp(I love him!!!!) and Kate Winslet (she's awesome too :) ). And must I say, that movie is a serious tear-jerker. Human love and compassion is something that is so deep and profound, when done the right way. This man- Mr. Barrie, runs into a family, a mother with four boys- The Davies- and shows compassion and love towards them by becoming a great family friend and entertaining them. He encourages the boys imagination and play time and spends a lot of time with the family with no intention of trying to do anything with their mother. He was friendly and it was a true friendship till the end until she died. Yes he could have left his own wife to be with the woman, but he didn't. The wife ended up leaving him first and she cheated on him. She was especially threatened by the other woman and threatened their marriage. Which is sad because Mr.Barrie saw that the family needed him. Nobody else did what he did for that family. As the mother was dying he was able to distract the kids with play time and having them use their imaginations. I know that it's just a movie but, it was so sweet to see someone actually have love and compassion and just truly help a family in need by just being there for them. We don't see that so often in this time and age anymore. This movie was very bittersweet. Especially when you see how one of the children was hit hard already with his father passing away and then now his mother. But it was lovely to see Mr.Barrie come in and become a guardian of the children, the best decision that the mother made. This movie was innocent but so sincere and profound on so many levels to me. I'm glad that they made it simple that way. Great movie.

Can't help but feel so discouraged. I wish I was graduating next year or at least the year after. I feel so sad and I wish I understood why God let this happen to me.

I want my voice back.  Is that too much to ask for?

....

I can't help but feel this way. And I can't stand it. I feel stuck, uncertain, blank and I also feel a twinge of jealousy. I feel like life is moving for everyone but me. I feel like everything just stopped. I feel like I gave up on life without even realizing it... I was supposed to let go, but I can't help but feel this way.. Have mercy Father :/ I don't know  what to do...

Let Go

All it takes it just one deep breath and months of learning to let go. Over the last couple of days I made a final decisions to just breath and let everything go. Everything. And its hard.  It takes days to remind yourself that God has your back, and it shouldn't. I finally told God that I was going to leave everything in His hands and sometime I find myself worrying about what I'm going to do next. I didn't realize how hard it would be but I'm willing to fight the fight. But I must say that I've found myself I little bit more happier lately. I also feel like I can breath a little better. He really does have my back :)